Wednesday, July 30, 2008

There Will Be Blood

It all started so innocently. We planned to go to the ocean. To Galveston to be exact. Emily was waiting excitedly to "git goin". Galveston is not very far from here and it really is very pretty. We drove down to the seawall eventhough we knew there was a storm a-brewin'.

Notice the storm a-brewin' ? It was beautiful. We unloaded the car of a stroller, a backpack full of snacks, water, a mommy, a daddy, a baby and her "bubby" and her "coppapahk"(pocketbook). Emily needed her "coppapahk" because it held a plastic ostrich, a pink cellphone, her "sungaas"(sunglasses), a small stuffed pink chick, a tiny gray rhinoceros and a little set of keys. She was certain she may need these items.

It was very windy! Emily cried in her stroller because the wind and the spray from the water was touching her face. God forbid anything uninvited touches her face! We tried carrying her. The horror. We tried to let her walk. The horror. Bill coaxed her into going down to the beach to play in the sand . That she liked!

That she liked. A LOT! Suddenly the wind and water were her amigos. It also helps that daddy has a calming effect. They played and threw sand and had fun. I snapped pictures. When the fun ended they returned with the finest coating of sand on them. On her eyelids, ears, cheeks, lips and hair. Oy! I told you it was windy! I say "fun is done". Emily was begging to go back to the "bye bye car" and it was time to eat! We decided on a nice INDOOR lunch. Splendid.

We headed over to Joes's Crab Shack. Yummy! We ordered mussels with garlic and wine and crabcakes for appetizers. For our meals Bill and I ordered Spicey Dungeoness Crab Boils with red potatoes and corn on the cob. With oodles of HOT MELTED BUTTER. Emily order HOT macaroni and cheese with corn on the cob with HOT MELTED BUTTER. And a chocolate shake. Oooh we cannot wait! This is the scene of the crime. Emily sipping her shake and waiting for her food to arrive.

This is the victim's witness. Thoroughly enjoying the mussels in garlic and wine. I am deliriously happy over this whole event. I am joyfully snapping pictures. Now for the best part. All the giddyness soon vanished as our waitress approached with our much longed-for seafood extravaganza. She just happened to DROP TWO HOT CRAB BOILS WITH HOT MELTED BUTTER AND HOT BOILED POTATOES. Oh and don't forget Emily's HOT MACARONI AND CHEESE AND MORE HOT BUTTERED CORN.


Oh yeah, and did I happen to mention that it was HOT and there was MELTED BUTTER? Can you say embarassed? I jumped up with my buttered hair and body. A staff person came running over to move Emily to a safer spot. She started screaming because she was scared. The manager came over. I cried. Bill comforted us. The waitress wanted to throw up and offered to buy me a tee shirt? I said no thank you. Can we please move to a different table? Can we please have new food? How brilliant are we? We could have owned a Crab Shack. Sadly, we are not those kind of people.

We moved to another table. The manager gave me some burn spray.I styled my hair a little better with the butter. And, we got new food. We ate all of it. And Emily even had desert. A rice crispy cake in the shape of a crab that she got to paint with flavored syrups(paint).

We called the waitress over for our bill. She told us our WHOLE meal was free. I thought maybe the appetizers. It was delicious and we will go back. As we left, I told Bill I didn't feel like walking because of the butter and broth that covered me. I was afraid the gulls and pelicans would try to eat me. We went to the car and I covered my seat with a large plastic lobster bib(for the butter on my butt) and put my feet up on the dash.

Alas, the carnage was not yet over.

My toes and sandal were all bloody. During all the FESTIVITIES we hadn't noticed that the plate that fell onto the floor, broke over my foot and the glass cut my toe.

I am so much fun to be around. Want to take me on your next outing.

Free food.